How to make a Petrowitsch


This page is not about this.

Warning: The above link contains adult material. Do not enter, if you are insulted by X-rated images!



This page is about this:

How to make a big sandwich-like bread known everywhere as PETROWITSCH.

History

The original Petrowitsch was first created in mid 1997 in Starnberg, a nice little town near Munich, Bavaria. It was inspired by a little dutch man with a big appetite, who used some of the ingredients for his lunch.
Another also not very big but very slim man named Gerhard Petrowitsch, who at this time was a vegetarian (and is now again) and also has a big appetite, had the idea of making a big vegetarian sandwich. From the nearby Tengelmann (which is an expensive supermarket) he purchased everything from the grocery section what looked nice, tasty and healthy. From the cheese and bakery section he got the Scamorza affumicata (a smoked Italian cheese) and the flat turkish white bread. All his colleagues were astonished by the sheer size of the sandwich and by the love and patience with which he 'built' it.
As Petrowitsch continued to make his big sandwiches every week, some of his colleagues, who were devoted carnivorians, wondered if it wasn't worth a try and made some big sandwiches on their own, guided by the experienced initiator. On the occasion of Petrowitsch's anniversary, the whole company was fed with these big sandwiches. Thus the big sandwich gained credit and was soon afterwards named (according to the sandwich, which has been named after Lord Sandwich) by Petrowitsch's big and not very slim project leader after Gerhard's last name:

Petrowitsch

Illustrated Guide

Below is an illustrated guide, how the original Petrowitsch is built best. Have fun!

1. Put all the ingredients you intend to use (and perhaps some others if they look nice) cutely together on a plate or something like that.
   You also need a long sharp knife, a normal table knife, and a wooden pad.
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. A Petrowitsch made from half of the turkish white bread is a standard size Petrowitsch, which is just enough for a hungry man. If someone builds a smaller Petrowitsch, it can be interpreted as a sign of weakness, if someone builds a bigger one, this may well be a sign of voraciousness or even greed.
   You must now cut the turkish white bread into half edgeways, using the long sharp knife. Then lay on a not to thin layer of butter (Andechser Fassbutter or Andechser Natur is to be prefered), using the table knife. After that cut a clove of garlic into thin slices and distribute the slices evenly onto the butter. Do it one by one - that will calm down your mind! Now cut the hot pepper into slices. If it's very hot, halve them. If it's very, very hot, half them again. Anyway distribute the result of your cutting activities again evenly (and one by one) onto the buttered bread and between the garlic slices.
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Proceed with carrots, red beet, and leeks (if available). It is important that you put on the slices of everything one by one. Don't just scatter them across the bread without any sense of tidiness or even beauty. The meditative touch of the Petrowitsch-building process is an important part of the pleasure of eating it!
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Put on layer by layer (keeping in mind that you must get the completely assembled Petrowitsch into your mouth somehow.). Proceed e.g. with sliced field mushrooms.
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. Also red or yellow pepper may serve well. Don't use green pepper, because it often creates a somewhat bitter taste. Nearing completion you might put on a layer of sliced cheese (preferably Scamorza affumicata) and (and this is a must) tomatoes. Tomatoes are always the top layer, because they are so juicy; and if they are on top, the upper half of the bread can absorb the juice. This is very important, because there is always some pressure needed to get the bread into your mouth. And that pressure squeezes out the juice from the tomatoes.
   Before you complete your Petrowitsch by putting the upper half of the bread on top of it, lay on some 'Salsa' or other kind of flavored ketchup (onto the inner side of the bread of course) and press everything tightly together (get up for that - thus on the one hand you don't overstrain your belly muscles and on the other hand getting up is a silent reference to the inventor of the Petrowitsch).
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. Now cut the bread into to equally sized halfes. Sit down again and take one half carefully with both hands. Be sure, that you apply the pressure evenly on the whole piece, with all your fingers on the top and as much area as possible covered by your thumbs on the bottom, to avoid the Petrowitsch to disintegrate partly or totally... (it is a sign of childish clumsiness, if many of the arduously arranged vegetable slices fall out of the Petrowitsch).
   Look at the picture below to find out, how successful eating is performed...
   
   
   
   

Receipes

	'Standard'	'Insalata'	'Roots'	'Italia'
Layer 1	butter	butter	butter	butter
Layer 2	garlic, hot pepper	garlic, hot pepper, leeks	garlic, hot pepper, herbs	garlic, fresh basilicum
Layer 3	fennel	leafs of green salad	fennel	leafs of green salad
Layer 4	parsley root	carrots	parsley root, celery	mozarella
Layer 5	mushrooms	radish	red beet	more fresh basilicum
Layer 6	cheese (Scamorza or other)	cheese (Scamorza)	nothing	some Aceto balsamico
Layer 7	tomatoes	tomatoes	tomatoes	tomatoes

Back to Homepage